I used to enjoy meeting people, but since I lost my vision I’m uncomfortable and lack confidence. How long should I expect this phase to last?

As a first step, it is helpful to ask yourself why you are uncomfortable meeting new people. Is it because you can't see the person's face clearly or can't tell where his or her hand is to shake it? Are you concerned about the way you might appear to other people?

Meeting new people can be a challenge, regardless of your vision situation. The next time you're in a social setting with new people, remember that they may also share your discomfort.

People who don’t know you can’t understand what you're able to see, or even whether you can see anything at all. This sense of the "unknown" can tend to make many people feel uncomfortable when speaking to an individual who is blind or has low vision.

The person you are meeting for the first time may be thinking, "Can she see me?" "I wanted to shake her hand, but she didn't reach out for mine. Should I say something to her?" "Should I ask if she needs assistance? If so, will that offend her?"

Understand that some people might be curious about your vision impairment and feel the need to ask questions. Also, people sometimes behave inappropriately when they lack knowledge about blindness or low vision.

You can help reduce your mutual discomfort and take control of the situation by introducing yourself first. When you learn to "take charge" in these types of social situations, you'll find that your confidence will soon return. 

Sometimes people speak to me as if I can't hear. I may have a vision problem, but my hearing is fine! How should I handle this?

There are many misconceptions about blindness and low vision, and the assumption that a person with a vision impairment also has a hearing loss is a common one.

Try to be proactive in educating others about your specific vision situation and about vision loss in general. In a non-threatening manner, inform the person that your hearing is intact and ask him or her to speak to you in a normal tone of voice. Sometimes a little humor can go a long way to defuse the situation.

I'm embarrassed when I don't recognize people I know. What advice can you give me?

This is a common occurrence and one of the many reasons why relationships can change among family members and friends. It’s helpful if you can learn to communicate with, and educate, your family members, friends, and neighbors about your vision impairment. To do this, however, you will first need to feel comfortable about sharing information about your vision loss with other people, and this is not always an easy thing to do.

Many individuals with a recently diagnosed vision impairment will attempt to “hide” it from other people, due to embarrassment, shame, or a fear of rejection. Make a plan about how you want to tell your friends and family members about your vision loss -- and then go ahead and do it!

If you feel uncomfortable speaking face-to-face, it might be easier to make a telephone call and say, “I value our friendship and I didn’t mean to ignore you today. I haven’t told you, but I’ve lost some vision and I can’t always recognize people I know. It would be helpful to me when we next meet if you could identify yourself so I’m able to recognize your voice.”

Common responses are usually, “Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t know about your vision loss. We’ve been friends and neighbors for years! I thought you were angry at me. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

In addition to recognizing voices, you can also learn to use other cues to help identify a friend or family member, such as the sound of his or her walk, the smell of perfume or cologne, or the kinds of activities they’re performing, such as a son washing dishes or a daughter using the computer. You might also find it helpful to review Maximizing All Your Senses on this web site.

My eyes are slightly disfigured. Should I wear dark glasses?

Each person’s visual situation will vary, so it's up to you to make your own decision about whether or not you want to wear dark glasses.

Some issues you may want to consider are:

• Is there a medical or visual reason why you need dark glasses?
• Do the glasses protect your remaining vision from bright sunlight and harsh glare?
• If you wear dark glasses, will they reduce your ability to use your remaining vision? Will they cause you to become unsafe while walking outdoors?
• Will you feel self-conscious if someone stares at you in public?

Before making a decision, consider discussing these issues with an ophthalmologist or optometrist whom you trust, as well as a close friend or family member. Ultimately, the choice is yours. Do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable.

I feel embarrassed when menus are read to me in restaurants, but what alternatives do I have?

Here are some practical tips about ordering in restaurants if you are blind or have low vision:

• First, always ask the waiter to speak to you directly.
• Ask if there are any daily specials, and select one from the list that the waiter recites to you.
• Many people are often overwhelmed by a large menu but will have a general idea of what they want to eat, such as a fish or pasta dish. If this is the case, ask the waiter which fish or pasta dishes he or she would recommend.
• Start a menu collection. Many restaurants will give you a menu that you can study at home and use to pre-select dishes for your next visit.
• If you have low vision, a magnifier with good lighting may help you read a menu.
• Ask if a menu is available in braille. If one isn't available, ask if the restaurant plans to provide braille menus in the future.